Some By Virtue Fall by Circe Invidiosa

Title: Some By Virtue Fall
Author: Circe Invidiosa
Spoilers: up to Dead/Alive
Rating: PG
Classification: missing scenes
Archiving: Yours for the asking.
Disclaimer: No matter how you look at it, it's infringement, but
I still don't own the characters or the story, and I'm still not
making $ from them.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Carol.
Summary: She's her mother, after all.

------
Let us believe that pure thoughts, brave words and generous deeds
can never die. Let us believe that they bear fruit and add forever to
the well-being of the human race. Let us believe that a noble, self-
denying life increases the moral wealth of man, and gives assurance
that the future will be grander than the past.
-- Robert Ingersoll
------

Margaret sat glaring at her daughter as Dana stood before her,
staring at the floor and twisting a tissue in her hands. For a
moment, Maggie saw the teenager she had caught smoking her
cigarettes on the back porch all those years ago.

"You can't talk about this?" Maggie asked incredulously, "I just
helped you bury your partner. Your friend! *My* friend! And now
you drop this bombshell that you're pregnant? Three years ago,
we stood in Bill's kitchen and you told me that you couldn't have
children. And now you say you can't talk about this?"

"You want me to know, but you don't tell me anything. Do you
understand how frustrating this is? How is this wanting me to
know?"

Dana looked pleadingly at her mother. "It's not like that, Mom.
I swear, I'm not trying to cut you out. I...I couldn't tell
anyone -- "

"Not even your own mother? Who could you tell besides me? Mr.
Skinner? And that new partner of yours, I'll bet he even knows
before me. Just how long have you been keeping this from me?"

"I wasn't keeping it from you! I called you the day after I
found out, but you weren't in, and things happened so quickly
after that. There just wasn't a right time."

Maggie hadn't expected that. She dropped down to the couch with a
sigh. "That was nearly four months ago, Dana." Her voice had lost
its fury. She closed her eyes and held her head in her hands.
She didn't see Dana kneel down in front of her until she felt her
head resting on her lap.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I wanted to be sure--" Sobs cut off whatever
else Dana was trying to say.

Maggie's hand trailed down and stroke Dana's hair. "I've said it
before, Dana; I don't want to be kept in the dark."

"I know, Mom, but believe me when I tell you that it was
necessary. " Dana whispered.

Maggie pulled Dana up and wiped her tear streaked face. "Of
course it is! Just tell me how this came to be."

"Dana, I know it's a miracle, but you're not the Virgin Mary. You
must have known how it happened."

Maggie's grip on Dana's arms tightened. "God damn it, Dana! I
think I deserve to know! At least tell me who the father is!
Don't I have the right to know the identity of my grandchild's
father?"

"I can't...I can't, Mom. I'm sorry. I've gotta go." Dana took
her mother's hand and stood up.

"Fine." Margaret shook her daughter's hand from her own and
crossed her arms. "Go. Running away is what you do best. You
just call me when you run into some sense."

Dana sat beside her mother, grasping her arm. "Please, Mom.
Don't be like this. I'm going to need you. I need you now."

"I thought you had to go." She turned away so that she wouldn't
see Dana's reaction. She wasn't going to let her break down her
resolve again. She could feel Dana let go of her arm and rise
from the couch, and heard her pick up her coat and walk towards
the doorway.

Only when she heard her daughter's car pull away did she let the
teardrops fall.

Maggie would have insisted on being there even if Dana hadn't
asked her. But it wasn't only for Dana's sake; it was for hers
too.

She got the call in the middle of the night. She wasn't
accustomed to these at-all-hours calls, but she knew who it was -
- or, at least, who it was about.

These days, Dana seldom called just to check in and chat. After
the cancer scare, she thought that she and Dana would be closer
than ever. Her daughter had opened up to her in a whole new way.
But she fell back into her old patterns when she went back to
work. And there was that whole business with that child, Emily,
a situation she still didn't understand. Within a matter of days
she was told she had a granddaughter by her dead daughter, then
by her barren daughter who had no recollection of having the
child, and then she was expected to mourn this little girl she
barely even saw, while celebrating the birth of her grandson. To
say that their relationship was strained after that was being
kind.

Dana had been isolating herself even more since Fox disappeared.
Maggie thought it was the stress of his disappearance and the
search for him that was keeping her preoccupied. She'd remind
herself of that when Dana would forget to call her back. She'd
heard how the bond between partners in law enforcement could be.
She'd even witnessed it herself on the rare occasions that she'd
seen Fox and Dana together. She tried to understand.

"Mom. It's me." Maggie barely recognized the voice as Dana's.
Concern quickly replaced sleepiness.

"Everything." Maggie could hear a long ragged breath before Dana
spoke again. "He's gone."

"Who's gone, Dana?" She would later believe that she knew
exactly who her daughter was talking about.

But anything wouldn't bring him back. She was useless to her
daughter right now. She couldn't even put her arms around her.
Instead she tried to get Dana to talk to reassure herself that if
she was talking, she was still okay. She managed to get Dana to
give her a cursory account of what had happened and what would
happen. All that mattered was that her daughter would be home
tomorrow to make arrangements. She asked Maggie to make some
initial phone calls before she got back. Maggie understood why
Dana needed her to do this. She had done it before.

Sleep was next to impossible after that phone call. Maggie's
mind ran from why Fox was in Montana to wondering if she should
tell the family about Dana's loss. By the time her alarm clock
went off, she was relieved to not have to lie there and pretend
that she would get back to sleep eventually.

At a reasonable hour in the morning, Maggie called the funeral
home in Raleigh where Fox was to be buried. The funeral director
gave her a list of what would happen and what was needed. He
asked if there were any special requests, but Maggie didn't know.
Dana hadn't mentioned anything. She couldn't imagine Dana and
Fox talking about it, but then there was a lot she couldn't
imagine with about Dana and Fox.

Hours later, after returning from the airport, Maggie found
herself sitting with her daughter and Walter Skinner at Dana's
kitchen table. Dana sat staring at the table. Maggie wasn't
even sure she was listening to her as she went over the list of
information she had gathered from the funeral director. As she
went over each point, she would ask if it was okay to make sure
Dana was still following. The whole time Walter watched his agent
with concern, occasionally placing his hand over her hands.
Maggie wondered if her daughter could see how plainly this man
cared for her.

Maggie came to her last point. "The minister wants to know if
anyone will be doing a eulogy or some readings."

Margaret caught Dana's weary eyes for a brief moment, but they
moved back to the table before she answered, "I'm all out of
words." Margaret watched Walter's hand squeeze Dana's again.

"Well, that's all I have for now," Maggie said, trying to change
the subject. She stood arranging the notes she had made.

Walter also stood and announced that he should go. He looked
down at Dana, who still sat motionless, staring at the table. He
put his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. "Get some
rest, Agent Scully. That's an order."

Maggie saw him to the door. As he was putting on his coat,
Walter whispered to her, "Make sure she eats. She hasn't had
very much in the last couple of days, and she really needs to
keep her strength up. Especially now, as I'm sure you know."

Maggie nodded. "Of course." She felt a sting from his words, as
though somehow she was responsible for the condition her daughter
was in now. She locked the door behind him. She turned to find
Dana was moving to her bedroom.

Maggie called to her. "Sweetie, do you want anything to eat? I
can heat up some soup."

Before Dana answered, the phone started to ring. She didn't even
look back at her mother. As she disappeared into her bedroom,
she said, "Get that please, Mom. Whoever it is, I'm not
available."

Maggie dashed over to the phone and answered it. A man's voice
asked, "Agent Scully?"

Maggie replied, "No, I'm sorry. This isn't Dana. She can't come
to the phone right now."

"This is John Doggett. I've been working with your daughter for
the last few months. I was calling to make sure she got in from
the airport okay. How is she?"

Maggie had heard the name before. His name came up whenever Dana
called to tell her she was going out of town on a case. She'd
told her that this Agent Doggett was supposed to help her find
Fox.

Fat lot of good he did, she thought. Didn't anyone tell him that
he was supposed to find him alive?

"Hello? Mrs. Scully? You still there?" Agent Doggett's voice
cut through her thoughts.

"Yeah. I understand. I'm really glad you're there with her.
She needs people with her, especially now. I just need to let
her know a few details before we go to Raleigh --"

It seems you've already done the least you could do, Maggie
thought. She said, "Well, I'll be sure to tell her you called."

She pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed 'End' despite
the protests she could hear coming from the voice on the
receiver. She switched the ringer volume off and placed the
phone back in its cradle. There was no way she was going to let
anyone disturb her little girl tonight.

She moved through the apartment, turning off lights and picking
up stray items. When she was satisfied, she headed for the
bedroom, hoping to find Dana asleep.

"No one important," Maggie replied as she came around the bed and
sat beside her daughter. She took Dana's hands in her own. They
were cold, but she managed to squeeze her mother's hands back,
giving Maggie some hope.

Dana shook her head. "I just want to be alone right now, Mom, if
you don't mind."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Why don't you come and stay
with me for now until we go to Raleigh?"

"Dana, I was really hoping we wouldn't have to argue about this.
I want to go. I knew Fox. I considered him my friend and he was
important to you --"

Maggie pulled her daughter to her. "Dana? Baby, what is it? Is
it something I said?"

She felt Dana take a deep breath and pull away from her. In less
than an instant, Dana composed herself. "It's not your fault.
I'm sorry. I guess I just wasn't ready to hear him talked about
in the past tense."

"Oh sweetie." Maggie sympathetically rubbed Dana's back trying
to soothe her.
"I'm sorry about that, Mom. I didn't mean that you shouldn't go.
I just...I want...I can't even think. I'm sorry."

"No, I'd rather be here in case..." she trailed off as if trying
to reason out her excuses. "I don't know why. I'd just rather be
here."

"All right. Don't worry about anything. I took your suit and coat
to the cleaners, so that will be ready tomorrow. I can even pick
it up for you if you like. I tidied up a bit. I haven't told any
of the family yet what's going on. You know how Bill is, and
Charlie -- well, I'd be lucky to even get Charlie's answering
machine these days. But I'm going to have to tell them something
about why I'm going away. Are you sure you don't want anything?
Maybe you should at least try to eat something. You haven't had
a thing since the airport, and Mr. Skinner said you hadn't eaten
much the last --"

Dana interrupted, "Mom, please just stop. Food is not going to
make everything better."

Dana winced. "I'm sorry. I'm really glad you were here today. I
know I haven't said that. I couldn't have done this without you.
It's just been a really long, hard day..." Her voice trailed off
and they sat silently.

Margaret broke the silence. "You know something, honey? I'm
really going to miss him. I know we haven't seen much of each
other in the last couple of years, but he was a good person. I
never told you about how caring and concerned Fox was in those
months while you were gone."

"Just before it all happened, I had been repeatedly dreaming
about you being taken away from me. I never told you that
either. I wanted to, if for no other reason than to hear you
tell me I was being worried for nothing and that my dreams were
nothing more than just dreams. But I didn't want to sound like
Melissa. When the police called me that night, I knew just what
had happened and I raced over to your apartment. Fox was the
only one out of all the officers and investigators there who
would talk to me and he treated me with respect and listened to
everything I had to say and never once made me feel like I should
doubt how I felt or what I believed.

"In the weeks afterwards he would call me to let me know any news
and even if there was no news. He had been there for me when Bill
and Charlie couldn't. Fox dropped everything whenever I needed
to talk about how hard it was to be without you. He wouldn't let
me give up and he certainly never gave up."

Dana squeezed her mother's hand. "Mulder never told me about any
of that except that he would call you about leads in the
investigation. I'm glad you told me."

"As much as you know Bill wants to blame Fox for the bad things
in your life, I can't help but remember what a friend he was to
me, and to you. And someone once said that generous deeds can
never die. Try to take some comfort in that, Dana."

"Thank you, Mom. I think I'd better try to rest now. I'll call
you first thing in the morning. I promise."

"I don't feel right about leaving you tonight, sweetheart,"
Maggie said, "Why don't I stay here with you? That way if you
need anything, I'll be right here."

"Nonsense. I wasn't going to do anything tonight anyway. Now, lie
down and get some rest. Don't argue."

Dana opened her mouth in protest and shut it again. She nodded
with resignation.

Maggie stood up as Dana kicked off her shoes and lay down.
Maggie picked up a throw blanket from the end of the bed and
pulled it up over her. She stroked her daughter's hair and said,
"I'm still your mother and you're still my baby girl. I still
have the right to worry about you and take care of you whether
you like it or not. Don't forget that."

If someone had asked Maggie how she would imagine Fox Mulder's
funeral, she would have been at a loss for words. The thought of
him dying was unimaginable, just as the thought of anyone dying
so young and so pointlessly was unimaginable.

But now faced with the event, she would never have imagined it
this way. It was ordered, traditional, and uneventful. It was
so unlike anything she knew about Fox. Every moment, she expected
something fantastic to happen, and she was almost disappointed
that nothing did. The only thing out of the ordinary was the
unseasonably cold weather, but Fox could hardly be blamed for
that.

For an instant she allowed herself to think that maybe Dana's
life would be normal now, but self-reproach mentally slapped her
for thinking so. Your daughter's closest friend has died, she
reminded herself, and there is no satisfaction to be taken from
that. Still, hoping that things would settle down for Dana
wasn't necessarily a bad thing, she thought.

After the minister's final prayers at the cemetery, the crowd
dispersed, Dana stayed by the grave with Mr. Skinner waiting for
the coffin to be lowered, and Maggie strained to see what they
were doing. She stood by the car, trying to stay warm,
practically hopping from foot to foot.

The sound of crunching gravel nearby surprised her. Most people
had ignored or avoided her, only paying attention to Dana or
Walter. She turned toward the footsteps to find a spiky-haired
man nodding at her.

He held out his hand and said, "I'm John Doggett. I'm sorry we
had to meet under these circumstances."

She took his hand reluctantly, but he grasped hers in return and
shook it warmly.

He nodded with a grimace. He turned and leaning his back against
the car beside her watching Dana at the grave site. "I hadn't
realized when I talked to you the other night that you knew Agent
Mulder that well."

"He was my friend. He was very kind to me and my family during
some difficult times."

He shook his head, still staring out towards the grave. "Never
had the pleasure. But a lot of folks make me wish I had,
especially your daughter."

She turned to watch Dana as well. The coffin was being lowered
now. Agent Doggett spoke again. "I'm afraid for her."

"She's taking this harder than I thought she would. I mean, I
know how partners are; I've had my share on the force and even in
the marines. Trusting another person with your life is not a
light matter...It's just that she's been through so much. I
really wanted her to have a happy ending."

Maggie couldn't bear any more. "Why are you telling me this? I
don't even know you. Do you think I'm not aware of how much
she's hurting? Do you think I can change what happened?"

"I'm not suggesting anything of the kind, ma'am. I'm just
getting a vibe. I thought I'd try to explain to you that I care
about your daughter and maybe I'm not the bad guy you appear to
think I am. But maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. If I am, then
I apologize."

"I don't have any opinions regarding you at all, Agent Doggett.
If you think that my concern for my daughter has made me think
badly of you, then maybe there's something in your own conscience
that you have to deal with. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to
wait for Dana alone while I mourn my friend and then we will be
going."

He walked away from her and headed towards Dana and Walter who
were already making their way back up to the car. She watched as
Dana stopped when Doggett reached them. She watched in dismay as
they spoke a few words and embraced. She did not acknowledge
Doggett when he turned back towards her and nodded before walking
away.

The knock at the door roused her. She wondered in confusion if
she had fallen asleep on her couch and hadn't heard the phone.

"Oh. It's you," she said, answering the door and finding Agent
Doggett instead of Dana. "What do you want?"

"Well, she's not here. You could have saved yourself the trip by
calling first. So you can go now." She tried to shut the door,
but found Doggett's foot in the way.

"Plans change." She tried slamming the door hard on his foot, but
he didn't budge.

"Would it be too much to ask what happened, Mrs. Scully? Can you
at least tell me if she's okay?"

"Look, Mrs. Scully. I get that you're upset. And I've got no
idea what it's about or what went on here and I know it's none of
my business, but I'd really like to know if I should go and look
for her and make sure she's all right."

"You're quite the investigator, Agent Doggett. It's astonishing
that you didn't find Fox like you were supposed to." Maggie gave
up trying to shut the door. She walked back into her living room
and sat down in the same spot again, leaving Agent Doggett to
come in as he pleased. He appeared in the entry to the living
room.

"I bet you've been waiting to say that. Look, I'm really sorry
she didn't tell you, ma'am. I honestly thought you already knew.
She didn't tell me either. And I'm sure she wanted to tell me far
less. I found out by accident."

"That really doesn't make me feel any better, Agent Doggett. But
it's par for the course around here."

"I know you're angry with her, Mrs. Scully. I haven't been
pleased with her myself. But you've got to try to understand
where she's coming from --"

Maggie interrupted, "And just what makes you think you understand
her better than me? Who are you to tell me about my own daughter?
How long have you known her now? Four months?"

"I'm not saying I do, ma'am. I'm not even saying that she was
right. What I am saying is that she had her reasons for keeping
her pregnancy a secret. Her partner was buried yesterday. He was
abducted and killed over something we can only assume he and your
daughter were working on. She thought it was better that no one
know so she could continue her work to find him. I wish she had
told me sooner. But I gotta accept that she didn't and move on."

Confused, Maggie answered, "Well, because Fox was already dead.
But I don't see--"

Doggett cut her off. "It wasn't just that. He was tortured. Do
you understand? Whoever took him did one hell of a number on him.
Stuff I've never seen done to a human body, and I've seen a lot.
Now, if your daughter felt the need to keep her secrets, who are
we to judge her?"

"Well, then you'll have to excuse me for being blunt then, ma'am,
but this isn't about you."

Maggie stood up in fury and said, "Fine. I'd like you to leave
now, Mr. Doggett." She stormed towards the doorway.

Doggett raised his hands, signalling her to stop. "Not before I
say one more thing."

"Mrs. Scully, your daughter is an incredible woman. She's one of
the strongest, most intelligent women I have ever met. And from
my experience, folks get that kind of thing from the way they
were raised, so I'm really glad I met you."

Doggett continued, "You can believe whatever you want, ma'am. But
whether Agent Scully admits it or not, and I know she won't admit
it 'cause she's as damn stubborn as she is anything else, I know
she's scared right now. It's also not too hard to see that she's
going through hell. She's gonna need you. I just hope that you
don't let something like her doing what she thought was right
stand in your way."

Doggett turned around and opened the front door. He looked back
at Maggie and said, "G'night, Mrs. Scully."

Maggie let herself into Dana's apartment. All the lights were
off, but she knew her daughter was there. She went into the
kitchen, carrying a bag of food that she'd up made for Dana for
the week and arranged it in her fridge and freezer.

She made her way to the bedroom. She knocked lightly on the
half-opened door. "Dana? It's Mom."

She was momentarily blinded when Dana turned on the light. "Mom?
You scared me. I didn't expect you."

Dana was sitting up on the made bed. She was fully clothed with
the throw over her. Her mother entered the room, put down her
coat and purse, and walked over towards the bed. When she came
closer, she could see her daughter's red, puffy eyes.

"I would have called, but I wasn't sure if you'd answer or if I'd
have the resolve to actually come over here. I argued with
myself the whole way." Maggie sat on the edge of the bed.

"Yes, well, I'm here anyway. I don't know what I should say or
what you want me to say, but I'm not apologizing. I still think
I should have been told. I still don't understand. I doubt I
ever will. And I don't have any hope that you'll tell me
anything more. I realized that I want to be here more than I
want to be angry with you."

Dana threw her arms around her mother. "Oh, Mom. I'm sorry.
Thank you." Maggie responded stiffly at first, but then melted
into her daughter's hug.

Maggie pulled away from her and sighed. She patted her daughter's
leg, signalling her to move over to allow Maggie to lie beside
her. Dana wrapped her arms around her mother's waist, while
Maggie wrapped hers around her daughter's shoulders.

"Dana, I never would have thought that you'd be such a handful as
an adult. You were always the one we didn't have to worry about.
You and Missy, so different and yet you were both off in your own
separate worlds that none of us could break into. I always
thought that maybe I just wasn't meant to be the mother of girls.
At least I knew how to deal with boys. Honestly, I don't know
what to do with you half the time."

"Yes, Dana, I've heard you before. You don't mean to cut me out.
You don't mean to hide things from me. But you do, and it hurts.
I want to be a part of your life. You need all the support you
can get. I know that you used to get that from Fox, but you need
to start relying on other people now --"

She heard Dana's sharp intake of breath. "Please, don't, Mom --"
A sob escaped from her daughter.

"Hey, now, sweetie...shhh...I know it hurts to hear that, but you
know it's true. You have to let people in. Besides that, I want
to be a part of my new grandbaby's life. So you're fairly warned.
I'm going to do my best to stay in both your lives and meddle and
do whatever it is I have to do to remind you that I'm just as
stubborn as you are."

That earned Maggie a small laugh from her daughter, so she
continued. "And speaking of meddling, I suppose it's useless to
ask whether this baby will be born out of wedlock or not. I
don't even have to look at you to know that you're rolling your
eyes. I suppose it will also be useless to tell you my preference
on that matter. Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter in the
end, as long as you are both healthy." She pulled Dana away from
her and asked, "Are you? Healthy?"

"Well then! A straight answer! We're already making progress."
They both chuckled.

"I want you to see something, Mom. Can you pull out the Bible
from my bedside table?"

Maggie did as instructed. She handed the Bible to Dana who
opened it and pulled out a folded piece of paper, giving it to
Maggie.

Margaret unfolded it to reveal a grainy image. The words across
the top said 'Scully, Dana'. It was then that she could make out
the head and the body. "Oh Dana, is this...? Oh, it's beautiful."
Emotion welled up in her and tears fell uncontrollably. "It's
just beautiful. It's perfect."

With her arm around Dana, she traced the outline of the baby.
Dana's baby. Her grandchild. She enjoyed the sound of that.

Well, heaven forgive him! and forgive us all!
Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall:
Some run from brakes of ice, and answer none:
And some condemned for a fault alone.
--Measure for Measure, Act II, Sc I