SPOILERS: Season 9...somewhere before William
RATING: PG
CLASSIFICATION: E-muse Improv Challenge (see end for elements), S,
DR-UST, babyfic
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: couldn't have done this one without Carol A.
ARCHIVE: Yours for the asking
DISCLAIMER: The show and characters are owned by Fox, etc. No
infringement intended.
SUMMARY: an evening watching the baby

The door to Scully's apartment opened revealing John Doggett.
"Monica," he greeted the current occupant.

"John, thank God you're here!" Monica's weary face relaxed.
She looked uncharacteristically disheveled.  She ushered him
into the apartment.  It was a disaster area and he could hear a
baby wailing in the background.

Monica disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Doggett in the
living room.

He called after her, "You wanna tell me what you're doing at
Agent Scully's apartment and what's so urgent that I had to
come over here just as I was sitting down to dinner?"  He had a
good suspicion about what was going on, but he thought putting
Monica through the whole story might serve her right.

Monica returned with a whimpering William and a guilty look on
her face.  "I asked Dana to perform the autopsy in the Malachy
case.  She couldn't get her mother to babysit on such short
notice, so she said if she had to do the autopsy, I'd have to
watch William."

Doggett sighed in frustration.  "Monica, I can't believe I have
to remind you again.  There are plenty of qualified
pathologists at the Bureau.  We can't keep calling on Agent
Scully.  Skinner's gonna be on both our asses."

"Yes, John, I know!  I don't need a lecture!  But the fact is,
I don't trust anyone else to look for the elements that are
particular to our field, do you?"

"The fact is, Monica, you just want somebody who's gonna find
something where there's nothing to find."

"Are you saying that Dana isn't objective?"

"You know damn well that I'm not.  I'm saying that you aren't.
For Christsakes, Monica, we've been having this argument since
you came on to the X-Files.   You know that Agent Scully has to
separate herself from us and the X-Files in order to protect
herself, her baby, and Mulder.  And it's our responsibility to
keep her safe."

"Oh, I see.  So it's only appropriate to use Dana when you feel
it's necessary," Monica said with indignation.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean!  Whenever you think a case is
cut and dry, I'm endangering Dana by consulting her.  But
whenever you don't have a clue about what's going on, you run
straight to her autopsy bay and she just ends up corroborating
exactly what I was trying to tell you in the first place."

"When has she ever backed up what you've said?"

"And when has she ever agreed with you?  Just what do you get
out of being told by Agent Dana Scully that you're wrong?"

William was positively howling as their squabble grew more
heated, and  Monica's bouncing and shushing were having no
effect.

The argument had taken an unexpected and uncomfortable turn for
Doggett and he was ready to give in.  "Okay, let's calm down.
We're upsetting the baby."  He reached out and stroked
William's fuzzy head.

"That's why I needed you to come over.  I can't get him to stop
crying."

"So you called me?" Doggett asked, incredulously.

"At least you've dealt with babies before."

"Yeah, sure. Sixteen years ago."

"That's still more experience than me, and babies are pretty
much the same as they were then."

"All right, fine," Doggett said.  He peered closer at William's
little red face to see if it could reveal what was wrong.  "He
doesn't need changing?  Or feeding?"

"He was dry when I checked five minutes ago and he didn't want
a bottle as of a half hour ago."

"Well, let's try the bottle again.  Where is it?"

"Fridge," Monica yelled over William's cries and nodded her
head in the direction of the kitchen.

Doggett made his way towards the fridge.  As he pulled the door
open, a plastic bottle fell out, hit his foot, and rolled away.
Seeing the familiar top of a baby's bottle, he surmised that
this had to be William's.  He attempted to pick it up by its
blue cap, but the cap's grip wasn't enough to hold onto the
bottle's weight and it fell again, leaving Doggett with the cap
in his hand and a throbbing foot.

The bottle had rolled under the kitchen table.  He crouched to
pick it up and smacked his head on the edge of the table as he
tried to get back up.

"John, where's that bottle?" Monica yelled to him.

Rubbing the back of his head, he yelled back, "Just heating it
up now."

He placed the bottle in the microwave. He wasn't sure if it was
the blow to his head, but he would swear that the blue baby
elephant on the bottle was smiling mockingly at him every time
it rotated into view.

The microwave chimed and he pulled the bottle out and
automatically shook it out over the inside of his wrist to test
the warmth.  He thought about how easy it was to fall back into
the parenting role until the realization that he had Dana
Scully's breast milk all over his hand nearly sent him into
shock.  He grabbed a dishtowel and quickly wiped the liquid
off.

Doggett brought the bottle out to Reyes who was sitting on the
couch with the bawling William.  "It should be warm enough."

Reyes tipped William back and tried to wiggle the rubber nipple
around his lips.  The baby made gurgled sobs as milk streamed
into his mouth, but finally he began to suckle.

"See, eventually, he was gonna be more hungry than angry,"
Doggett said.

Reyes merely nodded, looking at him with a doubtful expression,
afraid that speaking would upset the now pacified baby.
Doggett watched her not really sure if he could leave her yet.
He smiled at the picture of domesticity that the three of them
made.

"John, what are you staring at?"  Monica's whisper broke his
distraction.

"Uh...I was just gonna say, you might wanna tip the bottle up a
bit more.  He's getting some air bubbles there."

"Like this?"

"Yeah."

Doggett continued to watch with fascination. He realized that
in all the months since William's birth, he had never held the
boy.  He had never asked to hold William nor had he ever been
asked to hold him, although he had willingly risked his life
for the child again and again.   "Why don't you give him here?"
he asked.  "Give yourself a break."

"Sure," she said with almost enthusiastic relief.

Doggett sat down beside her as Reyes passed the baby into his
arms.  William fussed a bit but calmed down again when the
bottle was back in his mouth.  Monica watched for a moment
before excusing herself.

It was five minutes before William started to cry again.  He
coughed and sputtered, so Doggett placed the bottle on the
coffee table and pulled the baby up to his shoulder.  "Okay,
big guy, okay.  That's enough, huh?"

Monica came rushing back into the room, looking more composed
than when he first saw her.  "Is everything okay?"

Doggett laughed at her concern.  "Yeah, the little man was just
done with his dinner."  He began to pat the baby's back.
"Where'd you go?" Doggett asked.

Monica held up a small pill bottle.  "I went looking for some
relief."  She pointed at William, and said, "If he really is
the leader against the next alien invasion, they'd better be
able to put up with his tantrums. I don't know how Dana does
this every day."

John spoke without thinking. "She'd probably have an easier
time of it if she wasn't asked to do autopsies at all hours."
He barely gave her a second to give him the evil eye before he
quickly changed the subject. "What have you got there anyway?
I thought you only did that natural remedy stuff."

"Believe me, a natural remedy just isn't going to cut it this
time.  This is all I could find in Dana's medicine cabinet.
Orange-flavored children's aspirin."

"Do you think that'll be strong enough?" Doggett asked, clearly
amused.  He sat William back down on his lap still rubbing his
back.

"Not tonight, John.  I have a headache," Monica replied dryly.

He watched her shake out two tablets.  She reached for a glass
on the coffee table and went to the kitchen to fill it.
Doggett spied the files and books beneath her glass. The books
were religious texts and the folder was open to pictures of the
victim's body. He leaned forward to get a better look when
William squealed.  Doggett sat up and looked down to find
William staring up at him with fascinated eyes.

"Hey, you don't want to be looking at this stuff, big guy!"
Doggett pulled William up to face him.  William's chubby hands
were glistening with slobber as he reached out to grab hold of
Doggett's cheek.  He squealed again when he made contact.
Doggett in turn blew a raspberry at William, prompting another
delighted noise from the baby.

Monica returned to the room.  "You two seem to be hitting it
off.  You've got a magic touch."

"Guy stuff.  He just knows how to relate to another male."
Monica just nodded with a smile and set about tidying the room
while John continued to amuse William.  Soon William was
beginning to exhibit the signs of a sleepy baby.

Gently, he stood with William who was burying his face in
Doggett's shoulder.  Doggett found William's rocker chair and
carefully reached over hoisted it to the couch.  He
fastened William into the chair and even figured out how his
head support went on.  William fussed a bit, not enjoying his new
position and restriction of movement.  Doggett placed the chair
on the floor and began rocking it slowly and steadily with his
foot.  William gurgled in approval.

Satisfied that he could take his eyes off the child, Doggett
picked up the file and began flipping through the photos.
There was nothing in the pictures of the victim that suggested
anything supernatural.  There were no bizarre scars, lesions,
or mutilations.  He looked normal.  He looked like nobody.  To
Doggett, it was just another homicide.  He didn't complain
about taking on a normal run-of-the-mill case that he could
solve with good old fashioned detective work, and Monica was
again making a big deal out of nothing.

"So what exactly do you think happened here?" Doggett asked,
keeping his voice low so as not to disturb William, when Monica
reappeared with a dishtowel in hand.

She peered over at William, now fast asleep in his chair,
before she sat beside John on the couch.  She shook her head
and whispered, "No.  I don't think you really want to hear what
I think happened."

Doggett turned towards her, careful to move his foot without
disturbing the baby.  "Just because I'm going to disagree with
you again doesn't mean you shouldn't tell me what your theory
is.  I share my boring, old, logical theories with you.  It's
only fair."

Monica rolled her eyes at him.  "How much have you read so
far?"

"Just that the victim was found in front of St. Matthew's and
had apparently been stabbed."

"Not just stabbed.  Run through.  The murder weapon of choice
was a sword."

He shook his head.  "A weird murder is still not a supernatural
one, Monica."

She ignored him.  "The victim, Jerome Malachy, found still
seemingly alive, was taken to hospital where he flatlined in
surgery.  When the surgeons tried to resuscitate him, they
found that he was breathing and had a pulse, but the monitors
continued to show a flatline."

"That's the big deal?  So the hospital equipment was broken, or
uncalibrated."

"They tried 6 different monitors."

"Monica, that's not enough.  There has to be a reasonable
explanation.  Maybe the guy had a skin problem so the
electrodes wouldn't work on him."

"Let me finish, John.  The man continued breathing until he was
given his last rites."

Her revelations did not clear his confusion.  "Just what am I
supposed to be getting here, Monica?"

"That he hung on because he had to die in a state of grace.  I
think this man was probably killed in a holy war."

"What, like Jihad?" he asked.

"No, the ultimate holy war.  Like Good versus Evil.  God versus
the Devil.  The monitors couldn't read his vitals because he
wasn't of this world. I think this man was a messenger, or an
angel."

Doggett had lost his patience, forgetting the sleeping baby at
his feet.  "Jesus Christ, Monica!  'Wasn't of this world'?! Now
you are just reaching!  What are you hoping Agent Scully is
gonna find in her autopsy?  Wings?"

"Shh!  You're going to wake William!"

Doggett turned to check on William.  The baby still slumbered
undisturbed.

He lowered his voice.  "He's fine.  He's probably out for the
night."

Monica picked up the baby monitor off the coffee table and got
up.  She motioned for Doggett to follow her.  They made their
way quietly to the kitchen.  Monica stood against the counter
with her arms folded.  She spoke in a hushed but determined
voice.  "This is why I didn't tell you my theory or mention that I
asked Dana for help.  I knew you would be this way."

"Look, I agree with you that the way this guy died is bizarre,
and I agree that if you try to find the motive, you will find
the murderer.  But you aren't even looking for motive, Monica.
It's like you're looking for the craziest story possible.   And
what exactly did you say to Agent Scully to get her to do this
autopsy?  Did you tell her the story you just told me?"

"I told her we needed her help.  She accepted that."

"Well, then, I guess we just wait and see what she finds."

"I guess we do."

Monica continued to glare at Doggett.  He closed his eyes and
shook his head. Sometimes he couldn't believe she was the same
woman who was there for him during the worst period of his
life.

"What?" she asked accusingly.

"Is it always gonna be like this?  We get a case, argue until
we reach a stalemate, then wait for someone else to back one of
us up so they can have the joy of saying 'I told you so' to the
other?"

"Is that what you think we do?"

He didn't want to spar anymore.  "I don't know what to think
right now.  Hell, I can barely think right now.  I'm starving."
He walked over to the cupboards and began opening them.  "I
never did get dinner.  Do you think Agent Scully would mind if
we raided her pantry?" He was always grumpy on an empty
stomach.

"You're not going to find much, John.  I didn't eat either.
All I found was a dented can of tuna.  I think she must do a
lot of take-out."

"So much for babysitting privileges," he muttered, shutting the
last cupboard.

"I have an idea," Monica said with a gleam in her eye. "How
about whoever gets the joy of saying 'I told you so' also gets
the joy of buying the other person dinner when Dana gets back?"

He pointed at her and said, "Ma'am, you are on."

"Mister Doggett, you are in for the treat of your life.  You
are going to have the best jambalaya this side of New Orleans."

Doggett laughed enthusiastically.  "You amaze me."

She eyed him playfully.  "Thanks.  You amaze me, too."

"You're just saying that."

"You're right.  I am," she replied with an impish smirk.

He shook his head, smiling back.  "Someday, you're gonna drive
some poor guy crazy."

"I'm not already?"

"You know what I mean."

She rolled her eyes and laughed.  She walked out into the
living room again to check on William.  Doggett followed her
into the room and sat down on the couch.  William was kicking
in his sleep.  If Doggett remembered correctly, this baby was
going to soon need a changing.  He hoped Scully would be home
before that happened.

Monica sat down once she was satisfied that William was fine.

"Seriously, Mon, don't you want to settle down with some fine
young man and have one of those?" He pointed to William.

"Maybe. Someday.  Although I hope mine isn't so fussy."

"Not getting any younger."

"You're a fine one to talk!"

"Yeah, but I've already done it."

"You don't feel the need to do it again?"

"Not especially."

"That's too bad.  You're dependable and loyal and all those
good things that would make you perfect to drive some poor gal
crazy."

"Funny.  But there isn't a gal alive who'd be able to put up
with me.  Too set in my ways.  You, on the other hand, could
have your pick of guys."

"Don't be silly, John."

"What are you waiting for?  Fireworks?  Destiny?  A sign?  Brad
Folmer?"

She punched him in the arm.  "Hey!  That's not fair!"

"Sorry.  Couldn't help myself."

"I believe in destiny.  Some people are just made for one
another.  When I find the right person, I'll know."

"And you trust yourself that much?  Maybe you've already found
the right person and just haven't realized it yet."

"Or maybe that person doesn't realize it yet."

"Why, Agent Reyes! You have a secret crush, do ya?  So what's
stopping you from making that person realize it?"

"I'm not as self-assured as you think I am, John.  Besides, it
doesn't matter.  I don't think I'd ever make that person
realize it, even if I told him...or her."

Doggett raised his eyebrows in surprise.  "Whoa.  Hang on.
Back up..."

She raised her hand in a mock pistol. "Gotcha."

He gave her a playful shove.  "You're a riot.  Not that it
makes a difference."

"No, not at all," she said, still laughing at Doggett's
discomfort.

"So why won't this person realize it?"

The smile suddenly disappeared from her face.  She was slow to
answer.  When she did, she seemed to struggle to say each word.
"Because I think he cares deeply about somebody else.  I think
he just sees me as a friend."

He closed his eyes and swallowed.  He had hoped this
conversation wouldn't lead to this and yet he couldn't steer it
away.  "Does the other person love him back?"

"Not that I'm aware. There are other people involved. It's
complicated."

That was an understatement.  He thought he had been more
circumspect. Somehow she got it all wrong. He had to make
Monica understand.

"Then how do you know?  Maybe he cares about the other
person just as a friend.  Maybe he thinks you're not interested
or that you're unattainable.  You still need to explore it.  He
might be more willing than you think."

"It's not going to happen.  There's never going to be a right
time for it to happen.  So it just doesn't matter, okay?"

"Sure it does.  There's never gonna be a right time for
anything. It's like when your mom buys you a new set of ink
markers and you set them up in a nice tin can, saving them for
the perfect project.  And when you finally find that perfect
thing to color, you go to use your beautiful markers with all
their bright colors, only to find that they've all dried up in
the meantime.  So I guess what I'm saying is, you can wait a
lifetime to find the right moment, only to find that maybe you
should have been living in the moment."

She covered her hand with his.  "You should follow your own
advice, John."

"In the wise words of my mama, do as I say, not as I do."  He
grasped her hand and squeezed.

She looked down at their entwined hands, and then looked up at
him.  "Well, then, I might just do that."

"I'll be cheering you on every step of the way."

The sound of a key in the door startled them.  They let go of
each other's hands and stood up as the door opened.  A weary
Agent Scully walked in and plunked her bag down, shaking off her
jacket.  She was already speaking,"Monica, I know I'm later
than expected, but you are not going to believe what I had to
go through tonight -- Agent Doggett?  What are you doing here?"

Doggett flushed and stammered, "Oh, yeah, Monica asked me to
come over and go over the case notes with her for this Malachy
case."

"Oh.  Well, then it's a good thing you're here.  I won't have
to explain this twice.  Where's William?"

"Right here, Dana."  Monica picked up the bassinette and placed
it gently on the coffee table so Scully could see her son.  Scully
placed her hand on his tummy and rubbed.  The baby cooed
softly, but remained asleep.

"Looks like he had a great time."

"He was an angel," Monica said, looking to Doggett.

Doggett smiled at her, and said, "Yeah, a great time.  He's a
good kid.  So what were you saying about explaining something
to us?"

"The body," said Scully, looking up from William, "It's gone."

"What?  How does a body disappear?" Doggett asked in disbelief.

"That's not a question you want to ask me, Agent Doggett, because
I've had many bodies disappear on me over the years.  But that's not
the point here.  Just bear with me while I explain.  I was in the
autopsy bay when an assistant brought the body in.  I saw it.  It was
there.  I pulled the sheet off and it was still there.  I noticed that there
were a few tools missing from my tray, so I left the room for no
more than a minute to retrieve them.  When I came back the body
was gone and in its place was a dove."

"A dove?" Reyes questioned.

Scully nodded, "Yes, you heard me correctly. It took me forever
to try to catch it.  The assistant found a net and we finally
caught it and set it free outside."

"And you searched the entire morgue for the body?" Doggett
inquired.

"Of course.  But there's more.  When we got back from setting
the bird free, the metal gurney where the body lay was warm as
if somebody alive had been lying there."  She paused and asked,
"What do you make of this?"

Monica replied, "I know what I make of it."

Doggett rolled his eyes at her, and turned back to Scully.
"Look, Agent Scully, we ought to let you have your place back.
We're gonna have to get over there and do a little
investigating ourselves.  You get some rest and we'll consult
with you tomorrow."

Scully started to protest, "If you need anything --"

Doggett cut her off.  "Thanks for the offer, but you've been a
big help tonight already."

He picked up Monica's jacket from the arm chair and handed it
to her as he opened the door.  Monica said good night to Scully
and walked out into the hallway waiting for Doggett.

"Do I need to say 'I told you so', John?"  She started walking
as Doggett fell in beside her.

"This has nothing to do with anything.  Probably some prank
played by graduating interns."

Monica was too excited to entertain his negative remarks.
"Ascension, John!  The body was assumed!  It just backs up my
theory."

Doggett stopped.  "Jesus, Monica, if you want to buy me dinner
so bad, why don't you just say so?"

She stopped and turned to face Doggett, "Okay, I'd really like
to buy you dinner, John.  What do you say?"

"I'd be delighted, Monica.  What took you so long?"


Elements:
1. A blue elephant in the refrigerator trying to get out.--nad,
who asked to stop being smacked...
2. A bottle of orange-flavored children's aspirin being used by
an adult.--Shannon
3. Someone trying to catch a loose animal, in whatever setting
you choose. (office, home, whatever. Gecko, sheep, whatever --
the animal is up to you, too.)--Snark
4. A tin can full of ink pens, all of which have dried up --JET
5. A "deadline"--Cyndi Jo, who hoped that the deadline wasn't
the Elephant on a heart machine...

And late, but included anyway:
6. A dented can of tuna--MaybeAmanda

Notes: I can't take credit for the use of the blue elephant
element.  This was Carol A.'s brilliant idea.

It took 11 months, but it's done!